Cookie Makers and Basketball Stars

Beckett is not super interested in sports. He doesn’t have any “going pro” dreams. Despite being an active and social kid, he’s not interested in joining any teams, at least for today.

He does, however, want to be a cookie maker when he grows up, which I am here for. A Youtube cookie maker, to be exact, because you know, if you’re not attempting to be a basic celebrity apparently it doesn’t count.

He watched a how-to-decorate-a-Grinch-cookie on Youtube before Christmas, and now that’s his dream. He dismissed his initial dream of becoming president, because you need to go to college first, and moving away from home is unappealing to him. We’ll check back on that later...

That was on my mind this week when we read Salt In His Shoes, written by Deloris and Roslyn M. Jordan and illustrated by the phenomenal Kadir Nelson. This book is about the young #23 himself, Michael Jordan, who is being bullied on the basketball court for being too short. He came home one day lamenting to his mom about losing the game because he was not tall enough to get past another player. He asked her how to grow taller.

She smirked, and then advised him to put salt in his shoes every night.

She said, “In order for this to work, the most important things you have to do are be patient and listen to what I tell you, and say your prayers every night.”

Deloris Jordan knew the secret that I forget at least fourteen times a day...that parenting is like 95% letting go of my agenda for their lives and like 5% reminding them to let go of their own agenda.

The books and music and legos and dye-free organic food and chemical-free cleaning products probably all matter. At the end of the day, though, I can’t make him grow taller or make him pay attention in class or make him brave enough to go to college.

Mrs. Jordan knew the other important secret, though. As much as it helps to feel like we’re doing something that benefits lives we have to give our own plans over to whomever or whatever our higher power may be. And, like Mrs. Jordan, teach them to do the same.

#morethanasinglestory
#kadirnelson
#saltinhisshoes

If It Fits

We were driving down the road last weekend and saw a group of women leaving the beach. Dressed in winter gear, hats with poms and fur-lined hoods on down coats — they were probably on some girl’s winter get-away, bailing on a walk for hot coffee and paperbacks after discovering the brutal beach wind. 

I was unfazed until I heard my six-year-old say, “Maybe I can marry one of those girls back there.” It was all I could do not to spit-take my coffee from laughter. “Buddy, you’ve got a long time before you need to think about marrying someone.” 

“I know,” he said, “But I want to keep an eye out so I’ll know when the time comes.” 

As we drifted into silence and my smirk faded, I realized he’s got a plan for his life already, and it matches what he sees his dad and I doing. Which is sweet, if that’s what he wants and needs. My fear, though, is that he thinks there is a story he has to follow. 

Then it hit me, of course he thinks there’s one story...Despite our best pre-Covid efforts, our world is now curbside pick-up and squares on a computer screen. His family is all he sees.

In light of the world’s brokenness and desperate need for unity, I can’t help but wonder about the harm caused by our kid’s limited exposure right now to the many vibrant walks of life out there. 

This was on my mind when we read Alma and How She Got her Name, Juana Martinez Neal’s Caldecott Honor. Neal tells the story of a little girl named Alma Sofia Esperanza Jose Pura Candela. Alma complains to her daddy that her name never fits on her paper. He responds by saying, “Let me tell you the story of your name. Then you decide if it fits.” He tells her about her namesakes, of complex lives filled with books, dreams of travel, faith, art and activism. She sees herself in each of them, and it inspires her to create her own story.

So for today, we’ll read them lots of books and tell them lots of stories... Then, when Covid allows, we’ll incorporate our communities and travel back in. Like Alma’s daddy, we’ll offer them lots of stories, so when their time comes, they can decide for themselves if it fits.

#juanamartinezneal

#almaandhowshegothername